A young friend of mine gifted me an early Christmas present this week–a children’s book: The Dinosaur that Pooped Christmas*. A delightful book with wonderful illustrations and the most appropriate gift for me. Now, not because I like bathroom talk like an elementary-school-aged kid, but because I worry about that.

A month ago, you’ll recall I had reversal surgery to rid me of my bag lady status. Indeed it is gone, but after three plus years of dormancy, these old muscles don’t work like they used to work. It’s a learning curve in control, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. (I’ll spare you the sordid details, but there’s no way I can wait patiently in a long line for the rest room.) As a result, I decided not to ruin anyone’s holiday. I don’t want to be the customer that causes the plane to turn around on Christmas Eve, due to my accident in the aisle. I would be the ultimate GRINCH!

So this year, I’ll participate in family Christmas from the security of my casa via Face Time. I won’t have to watch endless football games, I won’t have to cook, nor clean up afterwards, and I won’t catch some nasty virus on an oversold airline. And hopefully, I won’t get run over by a reindeer!

*Fletcher, Tom., & Dougie Poynter. (2019). The Dinosaur that Pooped Christmas. Aladdin: New York

PS: Dr. Suze Espouses will return Sunday, January 7, 2024.