This desert dweller has an intense fear and hatred of snakes, AKA ophidiophobia. Granted there are a number of both poisonous and non-venomous snakes that inhabit Arizona, but in my mind, the only good snake is a dead snake.

Now, before you Animal Rights folk attack me, know I never killed a snake. I swerve to miss them if they slither across the road, and I’m certainly too terrified to get close enough to them to whack them with a shovel. I just don’t want them on my property. And thanks to a foul-smelling product that resembles kitty litter, Snake Away repellent, I’ve been able to keep them at bay.

Unfortunately, my next door neighbor, Sass, died last year, and she often retrieved and rescued those serpents from my backyard. I’m on my own now when it comes to their removal, and the creatures must have decided to spare me. Until…this week.

It was dusk, and with the sun almost down, the temperature outside dropped enough to make for a pleasant evening on the patio where one of my friends and I sat chatting. My 45-pound, golden doodle was stretched out across the cool flagstone sound asleep. From out of nowhere a king snake slithered under my dog’s hip! I gasped! Yes, they are harmless and eat worms and bugs, but they are still snakes with creepy eyes and sickening tongues.

My dog was oblivious to the presence she was reclining on, and I was paralyzed with fear. Fortunately, my friend seized a broom and swept the slimey creature into a bush, while I went in search of a bag of Snake Away. Thankfully, I’ve not seen another…yet. Stay tuned.

PS I tried to post this to Facebook earlier, and it was removed because it was offensive. Really? Perhaps, it was my title about being ophidiophobic. Obviously, the censor has never used a dictionary.