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The Best Bargain Ever

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I spent this week fixing up my diabolical mess from last. The fallen trees were removed, the skylight was replaced, the air conditioner was serviced again, and my dog is doing better. Further, my wonderful landscaping service redid my front yard, and my cleaners made my interior immaculate. Needless, to say, it was a pricey week, but I also scored the best bargain ever.

How? My mom taught me how to shop long before the pandemonium for designer clothing and Labubu dolls. She clipped grocery coupons and dragged my sibs and me to Strouss’ basement’s sales. (If you were raised in Youngstown, Ohio, you’d know Strouss. It was an Ohio version of Nordstrom’s, particularly The Rack.)

The first Wednesday of the month at Phoenix groceries is Senior Citizen Day, where seniors get 10% off most stuff. I wandered into a high-end, signature store that not only sells food staples, but clothing, shoes, dishes, toys, and linens. Since I needed to kill some time before my next stop, I moseyed through the aisles and ended up in the shoe department which carries one of my favorite brands of cool tennis shoes. On the shelf was a sign: 90% Off. Damn! I looked at the shoe box–size 10. Too big for me, but not too big to donate. In fact, some teenage girl would probably adore these trendy, silver shoes to wear to homecoming.

I put the originally-priced $50.00 shoes in my shopping cart along with the rest of my groceries and checked out. I strode out of the store smiling, for I knew someone would delight in my best bargain ever: $1.34 including my senior discount. Move over 47. That was an “”art of the deal.” Who knows? It may be worthy of a Nobel Prize.

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

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Read the title in your best nasally, whiny Roseannadanna voice, and you’ll understand my week. Please know, I’m not looking for sympathy; in fact, my purpose is to bring a smile or a sigh of relief that it didn’t happen to you.

My former husband used to say, You can’t have construction, without destruction.” Monday was destruction, which began in my hallway at six AM, when they jack-hammered up the floor. Not only were my dogs terrified, but the deafening sounds of scraping concrete gave me a roaring headache. Then came the construction phase, which continues through this coming week. The constant whirring of the tile saw and mortar mixer increased my anxiety.

On Thursday, a large limb on my grapefruit tree snapped sent a hundred, large unripe fruit to live with Jesus. (Note picture) Friday and Saturday, mother nature finally sent rain to the desert–not the lovely gentle rain that soaks the parched soil, but the wild torrents of flooding. And during these severe storms, my kitchen skylight leaked, and the ceiling bubbled. And just when some semblance of calm appeared, one of my dogs vomited, which necessitated a very pricey trip to the emergency vet clinic.

Thankfully, my dog is better, and tomorrow I’ll schedule appointments with my landscaper and my roofers. Hopefully, by mid-week my hallway floor will be finished. Until, the next time….

Discourse, Disagreement, and Dissent

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These are NOT dirty words, but words upon which America was founded and flourished. (I know a little about that since I’m a direct descendant of Patrick Henry.)

I spent my entire fifty-year career in public education as a high school English teacher, a high school principal, a school district superintendent, a deputy associate state department school superintendent, and as an university professor. In addition, I served twenty years as a school board member in a large suburban school district. Fact. Not intended to be bragging. Just fact.

During my fifty-year career, my name was often etched in desks and scrawled on bathroom walls with obscenities. Folk repeatedly critiqued me, argued with me, and sometimes even dissented. When I was on the school board, parents, students, and teachers often confronted me in our public meetings, in the grocery store, or at a football game. My daughter’s friends vociferously objected to a parking policy I endorsed. When social media took off, I was frequently chastised by the members of the greater school community.

I’ve borne my fair brunt of criticism–perhaps deserved. Yet, in my defense, I listened. Because I listened, sometimes I changed my mind. Because I listened, I KNEW I wasn’t as smart as I thought! Because I listened, I apologized when I knew I was mistaken. Because I listened, I, not only learned a lot, but I became a better teacher, principal, superintendent, professor, and school board member. (I dare not say a better parent!)

Given the events of this last week or two, I’m astounded by the national movement of: MY WAY IS THE ONLY WAY. Or in other words: YOU’RE FIRED.

Just Do IT!

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Aging is an interesting process. One minute I’m sitting on the floor coloring with my grandchild, and the next minute I can’t get up off the floor without pulling myself up on the coffee table or sofa. And even though I think I can, quite often I discover I can’t. My life has changed from coulds to don’t you dares.

Last last week I made a really, stupid mistake. My thirty+ year-old kitchen chairs needed to be replaced, so I ordered four new modern ones. I loved their design, their price, and the free delivery–so much so that I even gave away the old ones before the new ones arrived. With great anticipation, I awaited unpacking the trendy ones and enjoying their sight at my table.

Much to my horror, two, thin flat boxes arrived. WTH? I opened the first one and gasped! Parts, screws, washers! I KNEW I’d ordered assembled ones. I strode to my office, turned on my computer, checked my order. Damn! “Assembly required.” No wonder, it was such a great deal. Now what? Send them back? I’d already destroyed the box and its packing. Send back the unopened box? What good are two chairs when I need four? I can’t deal with this.

I wrestled with myself about this dilemma I had created for several days, until I decided to just do it. After several sputters and starts, I put the chairs together. Thankfully, my general contractor guy came by and graciously checked my assembly and tightened every bolt and screw.

And the moral of my blog? Next time, read the fine print: assembly required. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the eye doctor.

Do Republicans Care about Kids?

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No, I’m not asking for a friend; I’m asking as a fifty-year, professional educator. Do Republicans care about kids? For from what I read and watch, they don’t. They rail about abortion, pass legislation about “woke” curriculum corrupting our children, but they do everything in their power to dismiss, or avoid, dealing with the critical issues our kids face.

If Republicans truly cared about children, they would/wouldn’t:

  1. Accept them all. Not just the wealthy white kids, whose private education they finance with public monies, at the expense of public schools, who by law must do their best to provide education regardless of race, color, ethnic background, native language, homelessness, or disability.
  2. They wouldn’t cut and gut food stamps (SNAP) that benefit over 16 million kids, nor place bureaucratic burdens on school breakfast and lunch programs. They wouldn’t slash the Children’s Health Insurance Program, which provides health care for half of all American kids.
  3. They wouldn’t gut Head Start, which provides early childhood education, health, and nutrition to low-income children.
  4. They wouldn’t have confirmed Trophy Worm RFK, Jr., who boasted heroin made him smarter and proclaimed children’s immunizations are unnecessary. Who will pay for the Iron lungs when Polio comes to Disney World?

If my facts, have yet to convince you that Republicans don’t care about children, consider these:

A. Pedophilia? Who cares? Epstein? Fake news. (Or was His Highness an uncover FBI agent? BULL S#$T) An eleven-year-old gives birth? Her stepdad thought she was cute.

B. School shootings, AKA massacres of children. Who cares? It’s only happened 229 times since 2018. Not a big deal. Kids? Who needs them?

Well, Republicans, who’s going to wipe the drool from your chin in the nursing home when you’ve decimated our children, our future? Further, please stop sending me your requests for money. I’ve been a registered Independent for fifty-six years and have no interest in donating to TACO man’s “$15 to get into Heaven’s campaign.” Thank you for your attention to this matter.

A New TV

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Due to the recent haboob and electrical storms, my TV went to live with Jesus. Even though I rarely watch the idiot box and I do have several others scattered in other rooms, I decided to replace this dead one in my family room. Now, I don’t know anything about televisions, nor technology. I don’t care how they work, I don’t want to know anything about pixels, or any other crap I don’t understand. On and off, volume up and down, and channel change is enough for me. I don’t care about OLED, QLED, nor XYZ, etc. Size, price, online ordering with free delivery were my only criteria.

When I ordered one, I chose not to pay the hefty fee for setup and programming. Hell, any teenager would gladly do that for a Ben Franklin. And along came a brilliant young guy, who graciously unpacked the box and set up the boob tube in less than 20 minutes!

“Here’s the remote. I’m not sure it works because I couldn’t figure out how to put in the AAA batteries.”

“Sue, the remote has a solar cell. Just keep it in the light.”

“But what if it’s dark?”

“Plug it in the charger.”

“What if I want to watch Thursday Murder Club? How do I type it in?” Oops, I saw him roll his eyes; he knew he was dealing to an old technically-challenged immigrant.

“Sue, it’s easy. See this icon? It looks like a microphone. Press it down, and speak clearly. You can say ‘Bixby or Alexa, Thursday Murder Club, and it will appear. Here. You try.”

“Well, I’ll be damned! There it is.”

And once again, this old broad learned a new trick. Happy Labor Day.

The Plague: TGIF

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In my younger life, I looked forward to Thank God, it’s Friday,where I absolutely enjoyed a weekend without my job and its responsibilities. I’d shop, go to a play, a movie, or a party. Sometimes drink too much beer and always revel in the two-night sleep without an alarm clock. As my kids aged, our house was filled with their friends after a football or basketball game. I loved it because I knew all of them and made sure there was food, age-appropriate drinks, and my monitoring. After my kids moved on, I spent my Fridays engaged in the random, boring tasks of life. I didn’t leave my casa; I did chores, read or watched a random TV movie.

Then, three weeks ago, disaster struck! Fridays suck! Can you imagine having an air conditioner malfunction when it’s 119 degrees on Friday afternoon? HVAC folk are scarce as two-dollar bills on the weekend. The following Friday, the outdoor spotlight on the pickleball court failed to turn off. The special light bulb retails about $200! OMG! Where does one find an electrician on Friday? Then on Friday this week, the air conditioner in the guest quarters abruptly quit. At first, I thought maybe a breaker had tripped during the electric storm, but no, that wasn’t the problem. I’m S-O-L until my Monday appointment. Finally, Friday night I decided to watch episode 3 of South Park. (I never thought at my age I would be watching that show, but admittedly Parker and Stone’s relentless attacks entertain me.) Damn! My big screen was dead…perhaps a result of the raging electrical monsoon.

Now, I’ve no idea why I’ve been dealt the Friday curse. In my humble opinion, I’ve not been bad–I’ve been “kind of” good. But if you can recommend an exorcist, please message me before next Friday.

“What Do You Want to Be?”

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To a toddler, this question is simple: When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, a fireman, or the Amazon person who brings the packages. To a teenager, this question is more difficult, particularly in the age of Artificial Intelligence with its predictions most human jobs will be replaced with bots.

Earlier this week, my dentist posited, “Sue, your dad, uncle, great uncle, and brother were dentists. Why didn’t you go into some form of health occupations?”

“Tried it. At sixteen, I was a candy striper. I donned my cute pink and white pinafore and walked into the hospital, where I discovered sick people! The hospital smell overwhelmed me. Then I was assigned to feed a stroke patient, who subsequently vomited his green beans all over my uniform. One real-life experience was all it took for me to cross something off my “wannabe list.” In fact, I had other part-time jobs along the way, but each of them ended with “not for me.”

Given the few acceptable occupations for women in my time, I opted for teaching and landed my first job teaching Junior English in a vocational-technical high school. Not only did I fall in love with the brutal honesty of my students, but their diverse career opportunities from culinary arts to automotives, from carpentry to accounting. I even took adult evening classes there in graphic arts and auto mechanics.

Based on my fifty-year-experiences in education, it is just as important to discover what you don’t want to be, as it is to discover what drives your passion. Sadly, the “every student college-ready” movement has seriously impacted the lack of skilled trades people. Don’t believe me? Try finding a roofer, electrician, or plumber. The waiting line is six weeks long.

By the way, an HVAC was here yesterday for ten minutes. “What do I owe you?”

“I charge an hourly flat rate: $89.00. So $89 will cover it.”

Hmm, when as a teacher, a school superintendent or a college professor, did I ever make even half that?

Uh oh!

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Nothing says, “Uh oh,” like walking into my casa and seeing six dogs dancing in front of my TV! Unlike most of you, my big screen doesn’t hang on the wall but sits on a cabinet at an angle between two walls.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Of course, my dogs didn’t answer and continued their happy dance. Obviously something was behind the TV. Should I look? What if it was a heinous snake? Or a rat? Or a javelina? Spare me! Somehow I mustered the courage to peek…a big fat squirrel! WTH, do I do?

With the help of my friend who lives in my guest house, we put the dogs outside. (They couldn’t resist the dog treat-strewn patio.) Armed with a pool net, I was ready to snare the frisky varmint and toss him out the front door. However, Mr. Squirrel zigged as we zagged and alluded us. The search began.

“Sue, I found him! He’s on the landing at the top of the stair case. Prop open the front door. Maybe he’ll smell the air and go out.”

Hmm. Perhaps. “Hey, G, I’ve a better idea. I’ll go upstairs, open the outside door to the balcony, and he can get out.”

“What about the bats?”

“We’ll only leave it open for a half hour and hope he leaves and no bats fly in.”

With no sign of the squirrel, life moved on for the next five days. Uh oh! “Did you hear that? There’s a chirping sound upstairs.” Ye, gods! What now?

“Call the trapper. This is too big of a problem for us, Sue.”

On a Saturday afternoon? Doubtful. After five calls to trapping establishments, one answered and asked a series of questions. His responses to my answers were: “A squirrel can’t live for five days without food or water, so he’s probably coming and going. Thus, I’ll be out on Monday to do a home inspection etc, and the cost will be $2,500.” My ass. I’m not paying $2,500 for a squirrel hunt!

G took charge, went up stairs, and saw Mr. Squirrel scurry under the sofa. She opened the balcony door and left. When I checked the room two hours later, the bushy-tailed menace was gone–leaving behind lots of poop and chewed-up wood and paper. I canceled my Amazon order of a humane, squirrel cage trap and googled squirrels. Squirrels can live up to 100 days without food and water.

Not only did we save a squirrel, but I saved $2,500! Life is good–and very interesting.

AI and the Old Broad

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Unlike the current US Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, I know the difference between AI (Artificial Intelligence and A1 Steak Sauce.) Earlier this week, I read an article by Mark Zuckerberg, who posited if folk don’t use AI they will be at a serious disadvantage. Hmm. Frankly, I have a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out,) so I decided to experience this new-fangled notion first hand.

I researched a bit because I assumed such a contraption would be very pricey. However, I bought a basic pair of Meta AI glasses for $300. When they arrived yesterday, I was surprised by the set-up ease and absolutely blown away by what they could do. I put my glasses on, and I could: translate from one language to another, ask questions and receive answers, take pictures/videos, make calls, etc. I walked outside and said, “Hey Meta. What am I looking at?” The instant reply was: your swimming pool and six dogs. I’ve yet to master the app about some of my sick house plants.

When my exuberance with Meta subsided, I wondered about the outcomes of such technology. I could easily wear my innocuous-looking glasses to weekly trivia and get every answer correct. Is that cheating or simply utilizing an available resource to win? As a high school student, I would be able to pass final exams or earn a perfect score on the ACT or SAT. What are the educational implications with AI? A nation of robots? Will our children even be able to think with integrity and creativity, or will they simply vomit back whatever AI says?

AI is in its infancy with early predictions positing it will make many jobs obsolete, what will our world look like in twenty-five years? Thankfully, I’m an old broad and won’t know.