Does It Have to Be This Difficult?

A few weeks ago I received a text from my cell phone carrier with an enticing offer to upgrade my phone and guarantee my monthly rate for three years. At first, I thought it was a hoax or a con game, but after a few days I verified it was the “real deal” and made the switch. Then, my nightmare began.

Supposedly, everything was from my old phone was downloaded to my new phone. Indeed, most of it was, but not all of it. As a result, I spent two weeks trying to pair my phone with my cars, deleting and reloading apps, and reentering passwords. Further, a new phone necessitated new charging cords. Yes, it came with one, but one is never enough.

Then, both of my grocery stores decided to institute digital deals through their apps. While it was certainly a better idea than clipping and carrying around a wad of coupons, the apps were difficult for a technological-challenged old broad like me. In fact, yesterday the manager at one of my groceries spent almost a half-hour loading one digital deal on my phone. A long time for me to save two bucks.

Methinks with all the techno wizards in this country, there must be a way to simplify things. Yet, instead things just get more complicated, like uploading my newest novel to the publisher or ordering a pizza on line. But I also think, given yesterday’s news, some overreact to difficulty. It’s easier, swifter, and bolder to bomb the hell out of cities, rather than to sit down and find long-term solutions to age-old problems.

But what would I know? I certainly didn’t launch a smartphone cellphone company, nor chase a Nobel Peace Prize. Why? I’m not an oxyMORON.

The Cicada and The Tortoise: A Curious Tale

Admittedly, I’m a technological immigrant.  Further, I’m technologically challenged.  I belong in a special class with any 10-year-old teacher.  Even five-year-olds today, know more than me.  My daughters and the school board folk have drug me into this new arena, and I know just enough to be dangerous.  While I enjoy that the world is now just one arrow key away and adore my cell phone convenience, I abhor “auto correct”  and the feature of speaking rather than typing. Lord knows, I sent far too many incoherent messages and emails.  A heinous crime, when the author is an English major!

On the other hand, I laugh uproariously when I receive one of these messages.  This week I received the following:

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Hmm.  A large cicada, which looks like a desert tortoise.  I was engulfed in laughter.  A family pet?  Even funnier.  Did they clip its wings so it wouldn’t fly off?

Really?  I see no likeness in the least.  Yet, I was sad I have no artistic talent.  Can you imagine the joy of creating such a creature?  I bet Dr. Seuss would have drawn and made millions on this hybrid character.

My neighbor and I had several hilarious conversations discussing the email.  We concluded the sender must be whacked.   Twas, not the case.  Damnable auto correct was at fault.  Behold the sulcata tortoise.

Geochelone_sulcata_-Oakland_Zoo_-feeding-8a