What a week it’s been! As some of you know, I managed to survive a graceless fall which resulted in forehead cuts, a protruding bump, and two, black eyes. (You really didn’t expect me to show my face, but this picture depicts my current status.) I mopped up the blood, bandaged the wounds, and went to bed with a raging headache. Then it occurred to me, “Sue, are you mentally with it?” I asked my dogs aloud:
“What is your name? Sue Skidmore.”
“Where were you born? Youngstown, Ohio.”
“What year is it? 2017”
Well, this nonsense went on for a few more self-asked questions. Suddenly, it occurred to me if I suffered a head injury, how would I know? I could have said my name was Mary Jane Brown, born in Ames, Iowa, and the year was 1943. My dogs wouldn’t have objected. And if I was crazy, how would I know?
Given my astounding revelation, I practically fell off the bed with laughter. Absurd lunacy!
Then to add proverbial insult to my injuries, the next morning a guy came by to give an estimate on redoing my kitchen cabinets. Since the cabinets would have cost a fortune to replace, I hoped Andres would offer a less expensive alternative. He did. In my naïveté, I expected: “I’ll be back in three to six weeks to start this project.”
No. He retrieved from his truck his fancy battery-operated screwdriver and swiftly removed all the cabinet doors. I was busy dumping stuff from the drawers–stuff from several junk drawers I hadn’t seen in two decades! Damn, I’ve acquired a lot of scotch tape and too many bottles of the same spice.
“Sue, it will take a couple of weeks for me to get this done.” Off he went with doors and drawers. Maybe I did have a head injury, for I spent half the day trying to close non-existant drawers and doors. A visual nightmare through half-swollen-shut eyes. Visual proof of my ineptness as a housekeeper.
Ok. I can survive this chaos. Until…I read this article today.
I don’t give a rat’s hind end about that trend at my age. Doors are made to keep out Phoenix dust and to make my kitchen look presentable at a party. Absurd lunacy!
BTW, I think my real name is Hucklebarrie Finn. I think I’ve floated down the mighty Mississippi in Hannibal on a number of occasions. I own 12 pair of scissors and 9 tins of cinnamon. I have over 20 coffee mugs, 15 random plates, three old skillets, and five aprons. (Aprons? I prefer a clothes change.) Message me if you’re in need of any of the above. Downsizing….