Unfortunately, this is a true story, not an off-Broadway one-act play. My painters prepped the upstairs bedrooms before applying a new coat of paint.

“Sue, please come up here. We’ve something to show you.” (Probably not good news, I thought has I climbed the stairs.) “Look, the ceiling is bowed; did you have a leak?”

I thought. Oh wait, about 7 or so years ago, I repainted the top of one wall as it appeared dirty. It certainly wasn’t wet.

The painters removed one section of the ceiling and 2/3’s of the wall to discover indeed, the roof at one time leaked. In youthful exuberance they scaled the Spanish tile, discovered several broken tile, sealed the area with a tarp, and ordered me to call a roofer.

No problem, I had a roofer for years. However, I called numerous roofers who told me they couldn’t possibly do they repair for a month, then two months. My patience was wearing thin; I tried to enjoy their construction boom…but. Finally, a friend’s husband suggested his friend’s company. The owner himself came two hours after my phone call.

“Sorry, Sue. Your roof is shot. In all the years, I’ve been in business I’ve never had a roof last 34 years. You’re very lucky.” Lucky?

Late last week, the project began. When, the flashing around the chimney was pried two rats jumped off the roof and five or six empty nests removed. Be still my heart. This week they worked on the back pitch and found a pigeon condominium and huge sections of rotted wood. The discarded bird lodgings amounted to one black garbage bag full! Disgusting.

It was dusk when I walked to the mailbox. As I started back down the driveway, I looked up. On the roof pitch perched the neighborhood hawk, glaring at me. He was very angry his takeout dinner location had been demolished. “Sorry guy. The birds are gone.” He glared.

Sometimes I am weary of house repairs but never irritated enough to move. Yes, I know it’s inevitable–hopefully not to a nursing home, just the cemetery. But until then, I have a new roof over my head and humorous stories of rats and pigeons.