I try not to think about it, but most days it is impossible. I’ve lost more weight just shaking my head these past two years than by going to the gym. (However, I look obscene in spandex, so I’ve never been to the gym since I completed my college physical education requirements.)

I’m overwhelmed by news of the Kardashians, Harry and Meghan, COVID variants, anti-maskers, and a talk of a new POTUS in August. Federal investigations, court cases, restrictive voting laws, climate change, inflation, crime, and mass shootings boggle me. My futile attempts at shutting out the madness lead only to incurable insomnia that even reading War and Peace can’t solve.

Yesterday, I brewed a cup of morning coffee, walked outside, and sat down to sip and scan my email. Mostly ads. Then, much to my surprise, an email from an old friend–literally. Fifteen years older! I hadn’t heard from her in five or six years, as she’d moved away, so I eagerly opened it: Hi Sue: How are you? If you get this, email me back. I need a favor.

I responded immediately but then got caught up with morning chores, and didn’t check email until mid-afternoon. There was an email from my friend, Sandra, enumerating her many health issues. Since she was currently hospitalized she was unable to get her niece’s birthday present. Her simple request was for me to send her an Apple Pay card, and she’d reimburse me when she left the hospital.

Hmm? Her response came in less than two minutes after, my first one. Who is her niece? Where am I supposed to send this Apple Pay card? Methinks, I’m being scammed. With the help of the internet, I found Sandra’s phone number in Washington State. I called.

“Sue, how nice to hear from you after all the years. You are my 52nd caller today. No, I’m not in the hospital; no, I don’t even have a niece; no, I don’t need money. Yes, my email account has been hacked.”

It’s still a mad, mad, mad, mad world some 58 years after the film’s release.