Several years ago, I was antsy to do something worthwhile; I decided to redo my decimated guest quarters. Prior to her illness, my youngest and her dogs lived there, and eventually her one whacked-out dog destroyed it.
After all the carpet was removed, I had the concrete floors sanded. I painted the walls and worked for over a week staining the concrete floors. Certainly, I didn’t do a magnificent job, acceptable and a huge improvement. I decorated and used left over furniture, bought new appliances, a new air conditioner/furnace etc. In short, it was cute. Someone suggested I rent it. Me? Do I look like Ethel Mertz? Do I want to be a landlady? Absolutely, never!
“Mom, I have a friend who’s moving here from San Diego and needs a place to stay for a month. He got a job here, and he wants to check everything out before he rents an apartment. I told him he could stay here until he finds something. Hope that’s ok.”
“Do I know this guy?”
“No. I went to school with him in Colorado for one year.”
“And now, five years later, you’re moving him in to the guest quarters?”
“It’ll be fine, Mom. It’s just for a month.”
A month became almost a year. Joe was delightful, and I soon found myself doing his laundry, packing his lunches, cooking his dinners, and advising him on the random girls who frequented my swimming pool. My friends dubbed him my “cabana boy,” given his bi-ceps were larger than my thighs, his good looks, and his adeptness as a bartender. He took out the trash cans to the the road, he easily opened jars, and he dog sat when I was away.
Joe came in one night for dinner and announced, “I’ve landed a new job back in California.”
“Great! When does it start?”
“Next week.”
With Joe’s announcement came a line of young men wanting to take his place. My kid’s high school friend, Bob moved in a month later with his dog. I’ve known Bob since he was in the 8th grade, so the transition was easy. He’s just finished his junior year at the university with 3 semesters remaining till he graduates in elementary education. Unlike Joe, I don’t cook for him, but I do his laundry and have recently taken to charging him “rent.” (Translation: You give me money, and I’ll keep it until you want it back. Dr. Suze banking system of forced savings.). Of course, he has bi-ceps and abs on which I gaze. My friends are a tad jealous of the scenery in my swimming pool. Yet, every older woman needs a cabana boy to tend to her dogs when she’s gone. Agree?
While in my early 20’s, I took a graduate school course in educational philosophy and discovered I was an existentialist–make every decision as if it is your last decision. I embraced that idea, and thus, I never looked back with “would have, could have, or should have.” Further, I don’t suffer from “buyer’s remorse.” Once I make a reasoned decision, I don’t dwell on it. It’s the proverbial water over the dam, regardless of the outcome.
Dr. Suze Espouses 