I deplore scammers–all of them! The most despicable are those who prey on the elderly and those in search of a puppy. Fifteen years ago or so I wandered into the abyss of puppy scams.

My then husband thought it would be cool to own an Olde English bulldog, like Frank Cannon had. Since he was very difficult to gift, I went in search. Damn, the breed was pricey. Two grand and up. Until I found an ad in the Phoenix newspaper: Olde English bulldog puppy free to a good home. Hooray! Not. That one ad led me on a six-month journey across every major newspaper classified ad in America. Thankfully, my masses of evidence convinced a long-time journalist friend exposed the scam, a front page article, and eventually a bold face warning sidebar on puppy ads.

Whew! My work was done…until this week when the 21-year-old son, J, of friends wanted my help. His family was struggling with the sudden loss of their beloved father/grandfather. Joy and happiness became tears and misery. “Sue, my family needs to celebrate. I’ve decided on a golden retriever puppy. Will you help me?”

Since I would do anything I could to help, our adventure began into the dark world of scammers. (Unlike, my old experience, these scammers aren’t from Ghana but seemingly alive in Arizona.) However, these scammers have upped their game. Send a Zelle account $350 deposit and we will deliver the pup to you. Why? We want to make sure she’s going to a good home. Red Flag.

I found another classified ad which listed three, local phone numbers. I sent it to J. He called, the pups were in Tucson–not a bad drive, nor a bad price. He sent a text: can I come and see them? Of course, a swift reply came from a similar number; we will gladly show them to you upon receipt of your $500 deposit. Red Flag.

I called J, “I’ve never paid a cent to go look at a puppy. Lord knows, I’ve bought numerous dogs.” Yet, this above scammer sent him another text message a day later with the same we will gladly…from a Massachusetts area code.

I knew J was discouraged, but I didn’t quit. Saturday I found another ad and prodded him to call. Viola! Totally legit!

“I don’t have to give them a deposit!” Duh? “Will you come with me?” Not my circus. Admittedly, I was anxious all day. When will J contact me? Moments ago I received:

Please welcome Miss Marley. May she bring years of joy to J’s family.

Hmm? What shall I write about today? Unfortunately, my creativity is blocked by the national news, the predictions, COVID, and the thought of civil unrest.

Ever optimistic, I believe America is better than this; yet everywhere I look I see folk armed with guns, crazy “Karens” and protesters. I read and hear despicable, hatred of others. I watch the smirks and mockery of those less fortunate–including the disabled. Unfortunately, schoolyard taunts have mushroomed into threats and violence. Sadly, our children are watching and listening too.

Regardless of the outcome of November 3, I share some of Jill Jackson-Miller’s lyrics written in 1955:

“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony. Let peace begin with me. Let this be the moment now.”

Last Sunday morning, I woke before daylight. My ostomy bag had puffed out my boxers in need of replacement. I stumbled into the bathroom and alleviated the problem. I groped my way through the darkness back to my dog-filled bed. I laid down in a veritable large puddle of water.

OMG! Am I incontinent too? I fumbled for the light. As I hopped out of bed, I grabbed a box of Kleenex and mopped up. Whew! It’s not yellow; bless you Jesus. But since I was anxious to return to my dream, I covered the wet spot with a towel and crawled back in bed. Two hours later in a semi-conscious statement my hair felt wet. Am I perspiring? Again, I turned on the light only to discover my year-old doodle spewing drool from her mouth. Thus, I spent the rest of the day mopping up streams of droll and trolling the internet for the cause.

Given I’m a very good client at the vet, Fanny was seen early Monday morning. Four hours later and $$$ more, she was diagnosed with an infection of the salivary gland and a number of equally pricey prescriptions. When I brought her home, she was excitedly greeted by the rest of my pack. But…in their welcoming, Riley, got knocked over. Poor guy, he limped away from the fray.

I suspected in an hour or so, he’d recover. Not. And the next morning I dropped him off at the vet. Three hours later, “Dr. Skidmore, this is Dr. Taylor. How is Fanny?”

“She’s absolutely great; the drooling miraculously disappeared! What’s the diagnosis on Riley?”

“Well, unfortunately, his crucial ligament is torn, AKA acl in humans. He needs surgery. The surgery costs roughly $4-5 thousand. He will have to be separated and caged for at least a month while he heals. He’ll only be allowed to go outside to the restroom and must be kept secure from the others. I’ll give you some meds until the orthopedic surgeon can schedule his surgery.”

“And if I choose not to do surgery?”

“Eventually, he’ll be arthritic and have to take pain meds.”

Money was not my major concern; four weeks of containment was. He’s part of his family pack; he’ll be so unhappy. Through advice of other dog experts and internet research, I learned more about the crucial ligament than I ever wanted to know. Dogs, who weigh less than 30 pounds, tend to fully recover in time without the scalpel. Riley weighs in under. Thus, I’m resolved to take a chance; I can buy a boatload of pain pills for 5 grand.

The interviewer well knew he couldn’t say anything, but admittedly, he fumbled his words as he began to question the perspective job candidate. He thought, “I would have never invited her to interview had a known she was a girl. Really? No female has ever held this position–this is a man’s job. Hell, it’s been a man’s job since its inception. Fortunately, his inner voice reminded him to look at her credentials, talk to her like he would to his own daughters, and then decide.

Sadly, this is a true story, but my kid got the job in spite of her sex. “Mom, I only got the job because of my first name. The news station folk assumed I was a guy, but I did smoke the interview!”

While this event occurred several years ago, I find myself replaying it over in my head. Women make up over 50% of America’s population. Developing countries suffer for their lack of commitment to educating women. In my high school years, there were no girls’ competitive sports; our career choices were few. Be a nurse, a secretary, a teacher. “But I want to be a….” Sorry, that door is closed.

Granted, with Title IX and forward thinking, the status of women has improved. However, stereotypes remain, i.e. OMG, a woman can NOT be President of the United States. The glass ceiling remains.

I humbly offer a word of advice to soon-to-be mothers of daughters: do your kid a favor. Name her Alex, Clancy, Bailey, Remington, Cameron, Riley or Kyle. If you want your daughter to at least get an interview for her dream job, don’t burden her with a name like Sue, Shirley, or Nancy. Don’t get creative and feminize it by changing the spelling, as Rylee, Alexandria, or Remylou.

No, I doubt in the foreseeable future we’ll not experience equal pay for equal work. I doubt we’ll experience equal access into executive positions nor board rooms. In politics, rhetoric continues to demean women as stupid, “suburban housewives,” who are incapable of thought, let alone success. I urge you to consider giving your daughter her OWN opportunity to prove herself worthy of scoring a seat on the Supreme Court, leading a major corporation, or finding a cure for cancer. Forget sex-identifying names. Choose Cameron, Blake, or Scout.

I have heard all the adages about old age–more politely dubbed “twilight years.”

“Old age isn’t for sissies.”

“Just think how many new people you’ll meet every day when you lose your mind.”

Though some will beg to differ, I’ve not totally lost my mind yet. Except when I can’t find something or remember why I walked down a hallway. Sometimes, I fail to remember a name, an experience, or the author of a book. I save that recall for 3:00 AM, when I suddenly awake and have an “ah ha” moment.

My greatest challenges are creaking and rattling. Going upstairs is less noisy than coming down. I sound like a Halloween skeleton clanging and shaking my bones. Think Jacob Marley when he visits Scrooge dragging and rattling his chains. That’s me! I’m capable of waking a bear in hibernation.

Further, I have the usual aches and pains. I think they’re courtesy of the Lord to remind me I’m still alive. Certainly both my strength and agility ain’t what they used to be, which is why my cabana boy changes the ceiling light bulbs.

My days of bicycle riding have been reduced to a stationary machine. If you see me running, kill whatever is chasing me. My wheels now are simple driving cars, and yes, I can still see at night thanks to glasses. I fully understand there will come a time when I enter the progression: cane, to walker, to wheel chair, to gurney.

Today, I spread 30 cubic feet of garden soil and rototilled my garden. Tomorrow, I’ll rototill again and plant it. After I’ll do the Sunday NYT crossword, the laundry, and mop the kitchen floor. Maybe, I’ll even bake some cookies, and write the next chapter of my new novel. If and only if “dem bones rise again.”